5 Tips on Strengthening Your Marriage

Recently (not long after my wife and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary), I was interviewed by Perspectives magazine (the official publication of Indiana Bible College) on the topic of strengthening marriage. There were five key areas in the interview:

IBC: Current research shows that divorce is at an all time high—about the same for Christians as non-Christians.  What does your church do proactively to strengthen marriages and families?

Joseph: Trying to keep proper focus on everything that needs attention is a bit like trying to keep 50 plates spinning atop 50 poles. Every church must needs have “a lot of irons in the fire.” At Christian Apostolic Church, we have a Marriage Ministry Dept, with an elected couple leading it. We schedule marriage retreats from time to time (Dr. David Norris and Sister Nancy Norris are tremendous at this; highly recommended) and other marriage events. We teach on marriage-related topics in Sunday School—both in the adult class for those already married, and preparatory lessons in the college & career class and high school-age class. Marriage topics often enter into preaching and teaching in other services besides Sunday School. To help families with their financial wisdom, we host a campus of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (highly recommended). We celebrate National Marriage Week annually, and basically do all we can to move forward in this vital area of understanding.

IBC: Do you recommend or require premarital counseling?  Do you do this yourself?

Joseph: Yes, I do premarital counseling, teaching from a curriculum I culled from various sources and corroborated with Scriptures. It takes quite a few hours to teach and usually requires three to four sessions to accomplish it. For first-time young couples planning to get married, I insist on it before agreeing to officiate their wedding. We have occasionally abbreviated or waived this for older folks who were entering into a biblically-allowable subsequent marriage.

IBC: In your opinion, what are the three or four most important elements for building a strong marriage?

Joseph: I would summarize these three as 1. Prayer, 2. Preparation, and 3. Priorities:

  1. Prayer: The most important element is to pray from your youth up for God’s help in preventing you from marrying the wrong person, and for His help in choosing the right mate. Then, don’t settle for anything less than God’s best choice for you. This means saying no when other people falter and say yes. Don’t even date someone who does not seem worthy as a potential marriage partner! One must prayerfully, carefully choose a mate for life only after securing a certain word from God that they are right for you. Caution must be used because while one is infatuated with a “love interest” it’s all too easy for our heart to deceptively fool us into thinking we’ve heard from God, when He has not spoken.
  2. Prepare yourself for marriage emotionally and financially. Avoid the “Hollywood” lies, myths, and stereotypes, and realize you won’t be able to change your partner’s annoying habits and hangups. Many old-timers assure us all that it’s a terrible mistake to think (before you marry) that you can change someone after the wedding. Work hard (by budgeting, and being frugal and careful) to make sure you go into your marriage debt-free, hating debt, and already having either a nest egg toward a downpayment for a home, or a plan already worked out for a home. Dave Ramsey recommends waiting for at least a year after marriage before buying your first home, just to give time to get settled into marriage and good money-management habits, and, as he puts it, to learn just how close to your in-laws you can afford to live! (Smile.)
  3. Prioritize by building your marriage on a solid, biblical foundation of commitment to God first, your partner second (as a higher priority than one’s children—that’s important), family third, and then church, work, and all else coming afterward. Keeping God number one is a foundation both partners should share in common. Making a marriage work without that is very tough.

IBC: What is the greatest enemy of marriage and families today?

Joseph: The Bible addresses each gender’s area of weakness. For example, while both genders are taught by the Scriptures to love, respect, and submit to each other, men, in particular, are told to “love your wives, even as Christ loved the church” (see Ephesians 5:22-33). This points to a weakness; often we men don’t love our spouses as we should. After we “get the prize” (having gotten her married to us), we often stop treating her with affection and tender love as we did while courting. Women crave emotional intimacy more than men. They really need that from us. Men, on the whole, ought to give more attention to doing better in this area.

Likewise women, in particular, are told to “respect and obey” their husbands  (again, see Ephesians 5:22-33). This points to an area of weakness. Many women don’t realize how powerful their words and treatment are in either building up their man, or tearing him down and destroying his sense of self-worth. And while women usually crave emotional intimacy more than physical intimacy, for guys it’s the other way around. We usually crave bedroom action and have need of it more often, while, regarding emotional intimacy, we’re like camels are with water. We can seemingly drink a little emotional intimacy and then go for years in the “desert” without any more. That’s no trouble for us men. In either case, where the man is not actively “loving” his wife, or the woman is not carefully “respecting and submitting” to her husband, there will be serious problems, often resulting in the destruction of the marriage. The final blow is often dealt by infidelity (either emotional or physical), but the underlying issue was there long before the infidelity began.

IBC: What book(s) (other than the Bible) do you recommend a couple read if they are struggling in their marriage?

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, by Jay E. Adams, available on Amazon.com
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, by Jay E. Adams, available on Amazon.com

Joseph: Without a doubt, the book on this topic I’ve recommended more than any other, next to the Bible, is Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible by Jay E. Adams. It’s only a 100 pages long, but it’s so powerful because it points readers back to the Scriptures, giving them an in-depth, guided look into how very much the Bible has to say about these important areas. (In fact, I blogged about this very book recently.) The Word of God is powerful, and not only is it not silent about these topics, but it says much more than many people realize—even more than most preachers realize. This is a must read book. Get it. You won’t be sorry. Every preacher should have to read it, especially pastors.

For Darwin Day 2014, Discovery Institute Will Name University of Chicago Biologist Jerry Coyne as “Censor of the Year” – Evolution News & Views

Discovery Institute’s “Censor of the Year” award recognizes success in choking off free speech on evolution and intelligent design. To be given on Darwin Day, February 12, the prize this year will go to University of Chicago biologist Jerry Coyne, author of the popular blog Why Evolution Is True. In 2013, Coyne was instrumental in pushing Ball State University in Indiana to formally ban teaching about the scientific theory of intelligent design (ID). The move represents a milestone in the drive to punish critics of Darwinian theory.

via For Darwin Day 2014, Discovery Institute Will Name University of Chicago Biologist Jerry Coyne as “Censor of the Year” – Evolution News & Views.

Thought Police: Firms must swear ObamaCare not a factor in firings | Fox News

Is the latest delay of ObamaCare regulations politically motivated? Consider what administration officials announcing the new exemption for medium-sized employers had to say about firms that might fire workers to get under the threshold and avoid hugely expensive new requirements of the law. Obama officials made clear in a press briefing that firms would not be allowed to lay off workers to get into the preferred class of those businesses with 50 to 99 employees. How will the feds know what employers were thinking when hiring and firing? Simple. Firms will be required to certify to the IRS—under penalty of perjury—that ObamaCare was not a motivating factor in their staffing decisions. To avoid ObamaCare costs you must swear that you are not trying to avoid ObamaCare costs. You can duck the law, but only if you promise not to say so.

[“That’s the good thing about being president. I can do whatever I want.” – President Obama joking about getting a restricted-access tour of Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello.]

via Thought Police: Firms must swear ObamaCare not a factor in firings | Fox News.

Teens aren’t abandoning “social.” They’re just using the word correctly. | Understandings & Epiphanies | Medium

Advertisers are perplexed and a little angst-y.

I know this, because I work in advertising. Wait. Don’t stop reading because I admitted that. This isn’t about advertising. It just happens to start there.

“Teens Are Leaving Social Media in Droves Oh My God We’re Doomed Hold Me”

A few weeks ago, that was basically the subject line in every advertising industry newsletter. The source of the panic was a just-released study by Piper Jaffray that asked 5,000 teens to name their “Most Important Social Media Site.”

The result? Many old-school social media sites saw a fairly significant dip in preference over six and twelve months.

Read more via: Teens aren’t abandoning “social.” They’re just using the word correctly. — Understandings & Epiphanies — Medium.

16 Teens Rescued From Sex Trafficking in Super Bowl Sting | LifeNews.com

It’s the ugly side of the Super Bowl – the reality that America’s most popular sporting event is also likely America’s biggest day for sexual slavery. The day that sells the most tickets and the most coveted ad spaces is also the day that results in the most sales of little girls and women, at prices inflated to match the expense of the event. In a cruel outplay  of the economic reality of “supply and demand,” it is not only local pimps who make a big profit – women and girls from all over the country are often brought in to the destination city to ensure that travelers for the big game have enough “side entertainment” available. Read more: 16 Teens Rescued From Sex Trafficking in Super Bowl Sting | LifeNews.com.

9 Things You’re Doing Wrong With Your iPhone

If you’re anything like us, your smartphone is your precious baby. Unfortunately, you probably don’t treat it as well as you should. Here are some things you’re probably doing wrong with your iPhone:

1. Never turning it off

You really should be turning your phone off periodically, or your battery will die faster than it should. Leaving it on and idle stresses the battery, experts say. If you, like us, use your phone as your alarm clock, consider picking up a cheap (or fancy — why not?) alarm clock, or turning it off for another period of time during the day.

2. Leaving the Wi-Fi and Bluetooth on all the time

When your iPhone has Wi-Fi and Bluetooth enabled and isn’t using one or both, it’s… [read more via 9 Things You’re Doing Wrong With Your iPhone].

3 Lies That Sprint Employees “Tell” (+ My Success Activating Sprint iPhone on Net10)

Note: Consider reading Part 1 of this ongoing saga here. This is a continuation of that earlier article.

Let me say, at the start, that I currently have, in my hands, an iPhone 4s that originated with Sprint, and it is currently activated on the Net10 carrier and functioning, and the device has never been “jailbroken,” nor has any GPP chip, or any other strange, after-market SIM card, been used or needed. That’s just for sake of clarity and so you can trust that this article is not leading you on any wild goose chase.

Before we ever left Sprint, I called them to talk about options for lowering our monthly bill. We had been excellent Sprint customers for between 9 and 10 years.  I was told that there was no way to lower our bill on their post-paid service, but that by going with their pre-paid service we could get a better deal. However, I was told that our current iPhones (two of them, a 4 and a 4s), which were purchased through Sprint contracts and were fully paid-for and owned by us, would not be accepted on Sprint’s pre-paid service; I was told by the Sprint rep that we would need to buy new phones. Seriously? Furthermore, I was told there was absolutely no way to switch us over from Sprint post-paid to Sprint pre-paid by a phone call to Sprint: the only option was to physically go to a Sprint store.

At that point I pressed until I was permitted to speak to a proclaimed supervisor. He indicated that it was perhaps possible that I might be able to get our current iPhones switched over (unlocked) for use with Sprint’s pre-paid service, but, if so, it would only be by physically going to a Sprint store. I pressed more. He insisted, supporting the earlier rep’s claim that there was absolutely no way to switch us over to pre-paid without physically going to a Sprint store. (While that may be Sprint’s policy decision, it is not because of any genuine technological need to physically go to a store. They could do this over the phone if they wanted to.) I made clear to him that if Sprint did not lower our monthly bill during that current call, I would soon be leaving Sprint by porting our numbers to another carrier. He essentially conveyed, so sorry; no can do; so long.

I then called back (connecting with a different employee, of course) and said I wanted to have my Sprint iPhone 4 and Sprint iPhone 4s unlocked. I was still in service with them at that time, with the account paid up and in good standing. I told the rep that both phones were fully paid for, their contracts were satisfied, and I wanted them unlocked. The rep put me on hold, then eventually came back and verbally gave me an “unlock code” for the iPhone 4.

  • Error/Deception #1:
    “Let us get you that MSL code.”
    For an iPhone, an “unlock code” (also known as an “MSL code”) is worthless. The MSL code cannot be used to unlock an iPhone. According to Apple’s websitethe only way to unlock an iPhone is for the carrier of the device’s origin to send in a request to Apple to unlock the device, which results in a change in a database maintained by Apple. Anyone who knows their stuff knows this. So, is this offer (made to me by multiple Sprint employees) merely an indication of their ignorance? Or is this a less-than-honest tactic? Whether through deceit or ignorance, often Sprint employees seem to think that giving out the MSL code is the thing to do. It usually satisfies the caller and gets them off the line!

Interestingly, after more hold time, the rep told me that he could not get the “unlock code” (MSL code) for my iPhone 4s.  He said it could not be unlocked except for international use on Sprint’s overseas network (which uses a GSM network instead of a CDMA network). The key point here is that when I asked about it being unlocked, while I was still in service with them, I was told no.

Over time, I have been given a litany of so-called “reasons” by various Sprint employees as to why they either could not, or would not, unlock my iPhone 4s. All were either “mistaken” statements or outright lies. I made requests both while I was in service with them (with the contract satisfied and the account paid up and in good standing) and after having left Sprint. Here are a couple of examples:

  • Error/Deception #2:
    “It’s impossible to switch an iPhone to another carrier, due to incompatibility.”
    In the alternate reality where Sprint and its mal-trained employees live, an iPhone that originated with Sprint can only communicate with Sprint’s network, which is a CDMA network, therefore the phone can only work as a Sprint device. They imply that the device’s hardwired frequencies are supposedly unique to Sprint. This is a clever deception. The truth is, other carriers can and do provide service for devices that originated with Sprint, some by the fact that they lease cell tower time from Sprint. Thus, you can do business with other carriers, such as Net10 or Ting, using a device that came from Sprint, and have smartphone service for about half the money you were paying to Sprint. Yet the Sprint employee, reading from a carefully-crafted narrative written either by the devil himself or a lawyer that is a close cousin to the devil, would have you believe that, basically, outside of their network, a Sprint iPhone 4 is good for nothing; an expensive paperweight (it is not large enough or heavy enough to be a doorstop). The way Sprint treats its customers over this causes their devices to be less valuable in the resale market. Regardless, I would never want to resell it to someone (resulting in another Sprint customer), because I would not wish Sprint’s service and policies on my worst enemy! Bottom line: Sprint leaves one with the understanding that the device’s only possible use is via wi-fi as an expensive, makeshift “iPod.” The Sprint iPhone 4 has only a CDMA radio. The 4s is the same regarding its CDMA radio and its frequencies, but different because it has a GSM radio too, which was placed there for overseas use. However, in theory its GSM radio could be used domestically, yet only if one can get it freed up by Sprint.

After porting my numbers away from Sprint, I did some more online research and found claims (for instance, here) of people saying they convinced Sprint to  unlock a 4s. However, disregard all such mentions of Sprint having given out an “unlock code,” as those codes are useless. One post I found spoke of the need to have Sprint remove a “CDMA carrier flag” from the iPhone 4s, and, regarding the GSM radio in the 4s, asking Sprint to send in a request to Apple to unlock the phone. That seems like the valid way to do it, but all my direct requests to Sprint employees for that, have resulted in flat refusals. Some reports have mistakenly indicated that all unlocking has to be done while the phone is still in service with Sprint. That is incorrect. That policy only applies to Sprint unlocking the GSM radio in an iPhone for overseas use on foreign carriers via SIM card. Still, it is noteworthy that I had requested an unlock of my 4s while it was still in service with Sprint, yet I was refused. (Regarding the fact that I later tried some more, calling Sprint again after porting my number out, it also should be noted that a Sprint employee could, if they wanted to, temporarily and remotely reactivate any deactivated Sprint phone that has been unaffected since deactivation. One of their employees had done that for me before in unrelated work.) However, the ultimate answer to that is the policy only applies to requests for Sprint to unlock the GSM radio for overseas use, which has nothing to do with unlocking it for domestic use.

Sprint employees have told me they “have never contacted Apple,” that “it is not something [they] do,” that they “don’t have any way to do that,” and they “don’t have any procedure for doing that,” and finally, the grand poobah of all such lies: one Sprint employee actually told me “it’s against the law” for him to have Apple unlock the device!

  • Error/Deception #3:
    “It’s illegal for us to have Apple unlock the iPhone for you.”
    There is a decent law currently on the books, that, in effect, prevents, say, Carrier B from causing Apple to unlock a device that is still with Carrier A—the device’s carrier of origin. However, nothing in that law prevents Sprint from having Apple unlock a device that originated with Sprint! Yet in the alternate reality in which Sprint and its mal-trained employees live, some employees claim that the law actually prevents Carrier A from unlocking a device that originated with Carrier A. Ludicrous!

On Sunday, February 2, 2014, I spent more time on the phone (and on hold several times) with Sprint, eventually speaking to three different people, of which the first (Chloe) and third (Amanda) were those whose names I could understand well enough to include here.

Previously, a rep named Kimberly had given me what she said was “the direct number for the Tech Team” (855-899-7924). I decided to call that number. Not surprisingly, it did not lead to the Tech Team, but rather to a normal rep, named Chloe. She listened to my explanation and plea, found my account record, validated my identity, and then told me I needed to speak to the Tech Team. She put me through. After some time on hold, someone (ostensibly from the Tech Team) answered. She also (again) listened to my explanation and plea, found my account record, validated my identity, and then told me I needed to speak to the International Team. She put me through. After some more time on hold, someone from the International Team picked up. Her name was Amanda. She also (for my third time in that call) listened to my explanation and plea, found my account record, validated my identity, and then spent some time trying to discern exactly which device in their system I was calling about. She then set about trying to find out when it was purchased.

Based on my research, I had mentioned the FCC chairman’s letter and the subsequent announcement by the major carriers to voluntarily comply, and I had then asked for the “CDMA carrier flag” to be removed from my iPhone 4s, and, regarding its GSM radio, I asked for her to send in a request to Apple to unlock the phone. Amanda flatly told me that she does not ever send in requests to Apple. She said it’s not something they do.

Amanda then stated that if my phone was purchased and shipped on or before November 11, 2011 (easy to remember: 11-11-11) that my phone already had its GSM radio unlocked by the Apple factory before shipment—though only for international use, not for domestic use. Pay attention to that last part. She was not telling me that Apple has my phone listed as unlocked. Apple only has it listed such that an overseas SIM card will work, and that can only happen if I actually have the phone overseas and activate a foreign-bought SIM card for overseas use.

I told Amanda that I had read of other carriers routinely sending unlock requests to Apple to modify the database record of a certain phone [which facilitates what in this industry is called a “factory unlock”] and I indicated that was what I wanted to be done for my iPhone. She indicated that they just don’t do that. I advised her that, based on my reading of the joint announcement by major carriers including hers, her information seemed obsolete. She stated that she “apologized.” She still refused to offer to contact Apple.

After I hung up, I went to the Net10 website and ordered a domestic SIM card and activation kit on the chance that it just might work for this iPhone 4s. (If not, the items would be useful for some other device in the future.) Net10’s limited-time promotion offered free overnight shipping. The SIM card and service activation kit arrived Wednesday, February 5.

Update (as of Thursday, February 6):

Yesterday and today (Feb. 5-6) have been a techno-yoyo, a bit of a roller coaster, regarding cell phone activation efforts and hopes. When the SIM card arrived yesterday, I installed it according the instructions, and I called Net10, a carrier that supports both GSM network access and CDMA network access (basically via cell tower time leased from major carriers such as AT&T, Sprint, etc). Some of my reasoning for going ahead and ordering the SIM card was this: while I’m no mobile-network expert, it seemed that if a SIM card can reprogram the radio, then it can reprogram the radio. I figured that if I was wrong, and I found that the phone is still domestically limited to Sprint-only use (because of a database somewhere, apparently at Apple), then I will continue to pursue having Sprint unlock it. I figured that sooner or later I would need the SIM card anyway. I fully expected to get this 4s working on some GSM carrier (some company other than Sprint) sooner or later—hopefully sooner.

The SIM card was immediately recognized by the iPhone, but the SIM was found to be “not valid.”  I called Net10, and a helpful employee told me that I needed to abandon the GSM approach, and let Net10 use the iPhone’s CDMA radio. She said this would work. It would require an access code that costs $14.99 (with tax and fees it came to $15.89). I used a credit card over the phone and bought that code. She went through the steps to transfer the desired number to the iPhone. We ended the call with certain instructions about what I was to do.

I followed the directions, but the phone never started working, and continued to say “Sprint” in the connection area. I called Net10 back. After I was transferred from one to another, and then another, of Net10’s help staff, one of them finally told me that he thought it would never work, because, he feared, the iPhone had never been unlocked.

By this time it was too late at night to keep bothering with it. I decided to wait until the next day and try to have Net10 switch our number back to the Net10 Android we were using for it.

The next day, Feb. 6, I called Net10 back for the above stated purpose. I wish I had just checked the iPhone. I wish I had just tried to dial a call. Unbeknown to me, it had activated during the night, and it was working! But the night before, the Net10 website had told me the pairing (of the phone number to the phone) was classed as a “fail.” That, combined with the words of the tech support agent who told me it would not work, caused me to give up on it.

I had Net10 switch the number away from the iPhone. As soon as I hung up from doing so, I noticed some text messages had arrived on the iPhone during the night. They seemed to be intended for my wife. (It’s her number that we had moved to the iPhone.) I grew hopeful. I picked up the phone, and dialed my own cell. The call went through, and the caller ID showed my wife’s number as the incoming caller!

I then called Net10 back and asked them to cancel the re-moving of the number. They did not succeed in that, but they were willing to do a re-re-moving of the number! (Is that even a word?) I don’t remember how many Net10 customer service reps I spoke to on this date, but it was somewhere around three to four. I do remember which one finally got it done for me: Kendra. Kudos to you madam!

Important note about the “service update code” supplied by Net10 employees:

All the Net10 employees told me to use the following code to get the service update to happen on the phone:

Dial ##72786# and press the “send” button. — NO GOOD. 

However, that does not do anything of value. I remembered that during my many previous calls to Sprint, one of the reps had told me a service update code as follows:

Dial ##873283# and press the “send” button. — WORKS.

Whenever the former code is used then a call gets placed, and a prerecorded voice tells you that you’re not able to place a call. Whenever the latter code is used, you see this hope-inspiring message:


Honestly, I don’t know whether that service update code helped or was in any way necessary, but if so, then my article would be incomplete without it. So, I am including it here.

Within about 90 minutes of Kendra (of Net10) making the number switch back to the iPhone (and after me repeatedly applying the latter service update code mentioned above), I got the following message on the iPhone in focus:


Notice that in the service area it again states “Sprint” as the network, but the phone is with Net10, for about half the price of Sprint! The mention of Sprint in the service area (upper left corner) is apparently due to the fact that Net10 is leasing cell tower time from Sprint. I’m fine with that.

I should add two important notes:

  • After successful activation of an iPhone on Net10’s “BYOP” (Bring Your Own Phone) option, you need to make another call to them and have them help you do something called “update the APN” so you get full advantage of services on the iPhone.
  • While I was on the phone in the latest call with Net10, Kendra told me that a memo had come through just today, saying that Sprint iPhone 4 and Sprint iPhone 4s devices were compatible with Net10. This was presumably a result of high-level negotiations between Sprint and Net10’s parent company.
  • It seems clear that Sprint can somehow convey to Net10 whether a formerly Sprint device is cleared (contract satisfied, bill paid) and allowed to be used in service with Net10. A full and proper unlocking (a factory unlock from Sprint via Apple) is not needed to use the device with such companies that buy wholesale minutes on Sprint’s towers. A full unlock is still the right thing for Sprint to do, but it is unneeded for use on Ting and Net10, etc.
  • I will now be working to activate my iPhone 4 that also originated with Sprint.

Final update:

I later succeeded in getting our iPhone 4 (note: now both 4s and 4) activated with Net10 also. On both these phones I did not need to bother with convincing Sprint to admit to me that they had contacted Apple. (After many tries, I’m convinced their corporate culture won’t allow it.)  Net10 apparently has an agreement with Sprint that makes it unnecessary, but both phones are now fully functional on a different carrier, for about half the cost of Sprint.

Jim Kilgore: A Hero Goes Home + The Long Wait (by Mike Carlen)

“Here I sit in a hospital room listening to beeps, moans, the hissing of oxygen with a slight gurgle of moisture, and the sound of shallow breathing that you can’t help but be unnerved by. Moaning and yelling from a distant room filters into our consciousness occasionally, disturbing our focus on our loved one. The wait continues. Its 2:13am and another all-nighter awaits… unless that angel named death comes knocking.

“We have been here for 7 days now. Hanging out in waiting rooms, having friends you haven’t seen in quite sometime drop by who wish to express their wishes of love and support and leave snacks, food and gift cards. And the family…gathered together with those you love the most, knowing if nothing is said, its ok.

“Meeting those unknown faces in the ICU waiting room that are waiting and suffering in spirit just as we are, wishing for better days. Their loved ones flat on their back, completely helpless. Unmovable. No, we don’t know all of their names, but we have become comrades in spirit, encouraging each other and wishing for a clean bill of health so we could escape this unlikeliest of hangouts. It’s cold here. Chairs are miserably uncomfortable. It makes me wonder why they make the chairs so miserable. Do they think if they were plush, we wouldn’t want to leave? Like that favorite restaurant that is so pleasing to the palette of the eye, let alone the stomach, you just don’t want to leave this fine establishment because its so pleasant? No, in a heartbeat we would leave. If only we could take our loved one with us.

Read more of this powerful tribute to James Kilgore Sr, and soul-searching reflection on what really matters, via Mike Carlen’s Blog – The Long Wait.

FIRST UPDATE, Wednesday, February 5, 2014:

It is with profound sadness and heavy hearts that we report the passing of our beloved Reverend James L. Kilgore. Brother Kilgore went home to be with the Lord early this morning (February 5). Please be in prayer for the Kilgore family during this difficult time.

James Kilgore, Sr 1926-2014

Brother Kilgore’s son, Pastor Jim Kilgore, wrote the following:

These are the hardest words to write… Our Dad passed away at. 2:25 this morning. We felt it was inevitable following his fall on Sunday, February 2, but hope sees beyond the inevitable and refuses to hear the words, irreversible. We are Kilgores, and miracles are part of our DNA. Over the past few days, our family poured out our love on him with words, songs , the Word, prayer, touch…and finally, we were able to release him! This morning Dad rests in the presence of Jehovah. You, our friends and his, have been magnificent! We love you!

—Jan, Jean, Jim and family.

SECOND UPDATE, Wednesday, February 5, 2014:

Regarding the passing of Reverend James L. Kilgore, beloved long-time pastor, former Texas District Superintendent and former Assistant General Superintendent of the United Pentecostal Church International: Brother Kilgore went home to be with the Lord early this morning, February 5.

Funeral arrangements are as follows:

Family visitation – Friday, February 7 from 5-6:00 p.m.
Public visitation – Friday from 6-8 p.m.
Visitation – Saturday, February 8 from 9-10 a.m.
Funeral – Saturday at 10:00 a.m., with private burial service to follow

The visitation and funeral will be held at Life Church, 9900 Almeda Genoa Rd, Houston, TX 77075. The phone number there is 713-910-1911.

In lieu of flowers, the family has asked donations be sent to Life Church and designated to Ima’s Home for Children.

Please be in prayer for the Kilgore family during this difficult time.

My personal battle with Sprint to get an iPhone4s unlocked

Note: This Part 1 of a two-parter. You can read the conclusion here.

First, some background:

Firm pressure is coming from the FCC on all cell phone companies about this issue of not unlocking mobile devices (including a deadline backed by a threat of regulatory action by the FCC):

  • On November 14, 2013, Tom Wheeler, chairman for the FCC, sent a letter to the president of the CTIA insisting on a voluntary policy of unlocking of all cell phones that meet certain requirements, such as a finished contract. You can read the letter on the FCC website.
  • The letter states that the cell phone carriers ought to voluntarily establish a policy to unlock paid-for phones before the start of the December holiday shopping season or start facing regulatory action.

So, who or what is the CTIA?

  • According to Sprint’s own site, the “CTIA is an international nonprofit membership organization that has represented the wireless communications industry since 1984. It also coordinates consumer information efforts that include voluntary industry guidelines.”

In response (about a month later) to the FCC’s insistence in the above letter, the major cell service providers announced they plan to  [eventually] comply. The leading edge of the announcement pledges that they will “move quickly,” yet digging in reveals  some sad notions about what those words  mean to them. Hint: they want months to comply with some, but not all, of the provisions (and they get to choose which ones), and they want up to a year to comply with all of the provisions. That’s not my definition of “quickly.”

  • As of December 12, 2013, a public release by CTIA stated in part, “We are pleased to announce AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular and Verizon Wireless agreed to adopt a voluntary set of six principles for unlocking of consumers’ mobile phones and tablets. We will recommend that this set of principles be included in the CTIA Consumer Code for Wireless Service, in accordance with CTIA’s bylaws. Once they have been adopted, the companies will move quickly to implement these principles.”

On Saturday, February 1, 2014, I spent over an hour on the phone (and on hold many times) with Sprint, eventually speaking to three different people, of which the second (Kimberly) and third (Maria) were those whose names I could understand well enough to include here.

First call:

The customer service rep quickly looked up my account by my old Sprint number, and verified my identity. I told her we had ported our numbers out due to Sprint’s refusal to work with us on lowering our monthly bill, and I asked if my final bill was paid and if the account was squared away. After putting me on hold several times, with me waiting long enough that the whole call was longer than about 15 minutes, she finally confirmed that the account was finalized; the last bill was paid, and we were square. I then told her that the iPhone 4s on the closed account, which was purchased and completely paid for, needed to be unlocked. Since the account was squared away, I requested her help with unlocking it. She told me she would be happy to help, and then she instantly hung up on me, and she never called back. This was not a “dropped call.” Whether intentionally or accidentally, she hung up on me.

Second call:

I called Sprint back, and got Kimberly. Kimberly was unable to find my record at all, even though I had been an excellent customer of Sprint’s for between 9 and 10 years. Even though the previous Sprint rep had found my account within seconds, this rep, Kimberly, said no records could be found matching the info I was giving. This went on for some time. I insisted until she finally elevated it to the attention of a supervisor, and after being on hold several times, with a combined waiting time of over 20 minutes, they finally “found” my account record. She then had me wait on hold while she verified the account was paid in full and finalized. She then offered to connect me to the Tech Team to get the phone unlocked.

Still on second call—holding for Tech Team, who never picked up:

After about another 10 minutes on hold, Kimberly finally came back on the line, and told me that the Tech Team was having high call volumes, and she asked me if I would please hang up, wait about a half an hour, and call them back directly. She gave me the direct number of the Tech Team. I told her that I had already waited on hold a long time, and that by her taking me out of their queue and speaking to me again, she had put me to the back of the line, and that if I hung up and called back, I would still be at the back of the line. I asked her to please put me back through to the Tech Team. She then put me on hold, and after another wait, she said the Tech Team would not be talking to me. She said the Tech Team told her to tell me that no iOS devices can be unlocked. I informed her that is patently false, and that other carriers unlock Apple iOS phone devices. (For proof that iOS devices can be unlocked, see Apple’s website.) Over the course of more holds and wait time, Kimberly told me several different stories, all obviously false, about why no iOS devices can be unlocked. I pressed her about the error of each story, and she then decided to get a superior on the line.

Still on second call—switching me to a superior:

Maria, the proclaimed superior of Kimberly, came into the conversation. She flatly claimed that iOS devices cannot be unlocked. I countered that they can be. [Just because iPhones are not unlocked via an MSL code (aka “unlock code”) does not mean they cannot be unlocked. See Apple’s website for proof.] She then claimed that they can only be unlocked for international travel. I explained why that is not true, and that we’re not discussing Sprint’s policy about travel or their desire to limit the phone to such, but the reality of what is right and doable and needs to be done. She then asked if I had updated the phone, seemingly (and amazingly), trying to hint or to pretend that legitimate iOS updates to the phone might possibly have something to do with their inability to unlock the phone. She stopped short of plainly making such a statement. She then said simply that they “cannot unlock iOS devices.” I told her that they can. She then actually claimed her refusal was based on a new policy that was just made earlier this month. (That is the exact opposite of the actual policy made only a few days ago). I tried to speak at that point, telling her that other carriers unlock iOS phones, that only Sprint seems to be this way, and she repeatedly attempted to interrupt, speaking while I was speaking, so that the call became rather tense. Eventually I was permitted to speak, but she was not budging.

Maria then had the gall to claim that they (Sprint), “used to be able to unlock iOS devices, but,” she said, “we have lost that info.”

I replied, “You cannot be serious.”

Maria actually said, “I am serious. We cannot unlock your phone.”

I told her that Sprint could indeed unlock it, and that she needed to connect me to someone who could help me get that done. I told her that if someone did not get the phone unlocked for me, my next communication would be with the FCC and the Attorney General (which I followed through with, later that night). I asked her if Sprint was determined to beg for a class action lawsuit.

She then told me she was going to, “have management call me back.”

I replied, “I thought you said you were management.”

She then said, with a pause before and during, “I am management, butI am going to have the Legal Team call you back.” 

No one called back that day. I somehow doubt anyone will.


I have already spoken to another carrier that told me that an unlocked Sprint iPhone 4/4s was compatible with their network system, and so this issue is worth quite a bit of money to me. I will not give up. If Sprint does not help me get this device unlocked, I will persist in bugging their support staff until, in the end, Sprint will have wasted hundreds of dollars paid to its mal-trained, stubborn, and discourteous customer service reps, just in dealing with me alone. It would behoove Sprint to simply do right and unlock this phone.

Note: See the all-new info in the conclusion of this saga: 3 Lies That Sprint Employees “Tell” (+ My Success Activating Sprint iPhone on Net10)